untitled

I had a thought recently. Bit of a shock really. *boom tish* But seriously though, I had several thoughts.. an indepth analysis even. The topic of my musings was the past. Not the past in general but your own individual past. The sum of everything you have been through, said and done. Everyone you have met and the people/things that changed your life. For the first time in my life I dont want to look back. I dont have to look back to know how I got to where I am. I know it instinctively. Maybe its the fact that I finally get it. I understand why I had to go through all that crap. Somehow I know that if my world hadnt been turned around so much I wouldnt be where I am. The things I did... the friendships that I thought would last forever... I see why they have all faded into dust. I know that I have to let go completely to feel this freedom. And yet I'm still not quite there, because I am hanging onto this shred of insecurity. Maybe somehow by admitting that- I am a step closer to where I want to be. Or maybe I am exactly where I am meant to be and I should focus on this very moment.